What I've done
by Niahara Erskine
Summary: As Light lives his last moments he thinks back to what he has done. Songfic.


A/N I guess you can say this is what you get if you mix an idea, a song, too much Pepsi at 11 pm, a TV turned on Full Metal Alchemist and a melancholic state. I wrote this oneshot to describe the last minutes in Yagami Light's life, but I sense something missing at the story. If you can figure out what it is please tell me. Of course I do not own Death Note or the song ( What I've done by Linkin Park ) and I'm sorry for any grammar/spelling mistakes, but English isn't my native language. Please review; constructive criticism is always appreciated, but please no flames.

Drip… drip… drip… My wounds are bleeding heavily as I run away from the abandoned warehouse… drip…drip…drip… As I walk my blood falls on the pavement leaving a crimson trail behind me. I know that eventually this trail shall lead them to me, however I do not care. A person in my position realizes that many things are insignificant considering the fact that his time on Earth is limited. Is this the way my victims felt as the iron claw of death gripped their hearts? And yet their life had been severed before they even got the chance to realize that they are indeed dying. In my case I have come to this conclusion as each bullet pierced trough my body, bringing with it unimaginable pain. Probably, in different circumstances I would have been rushed to the hospital and by some miraculous luck saved, however I am not that naïve to think that Ryuk will let me live just to be forced to remain on Earth, bound to me as I spend the rest of my life rotting away in prison; and even that would happen if I would be lucky. Otherwise the death sentence would await me. I enter an abandoned building… such a pathetic death for me, for Kira… expecting death at the end of a Shinigami's pen. Still haven't I done the same to my victims… to L?

**In this farewell**

**There's no blood**

**There's no alibi**

I look around as my breath becomes even hoarser. Ryuk is nowhere to be seen. Looks like I shall die alone. The situation reminds me of that anime my sister used to watch, Jigoku Shoujo. Where is the one to ask me if I feel sorry for what I have done, if feel any remorse?

**Cuz I've drawn regret from the truth**

**Of a thousand lies**

What have I done? I lied to countless persons in order to achieve my purpose. I manipulated them into believing what I have said to them… not only Misa, who would have even died for me, but the task force and eventually even Rem, the Shinigami. I killed people in a blink of an eye and some deserved a better death that a name written in a Death Note and a heart attack… Raye Penber, Naomi Misora, Watari, L, my father and in the end Mello are just some of my victims who deserved the right to live. Yet I stole it from them…

**So let mercy come and wash away**

**What I've done**

**I'll face myself**

**To cross out what I've become**

**Erase myself**

**And let go of what I've done**

I look back to what I've done and think what may have been. How would my life be different if the Death Note and Ryuk hadn't crossed my path? I would have lived my life peacefully, thinking of all the wrongs in the world and probably trying to solve them. I would have stepped in my father's footsteps and probably would have helped him solve numerous difficult cases. Kira wouldn't have existed; all of this chaos would have been only an idea for a fantasy novel. And yet who knows who else could have picked up Ryuk's notebook? I do not feel sorry for what I've done…

**Put to rest**

**What you've thought of me**

**While I clean this slate**

**With the hands of uncertainty**

While I kept my mask of innocence well preserved, I pulled the strings from behind. Everyone transformed into puppets and they world was my scene. No one could have stopped me from creating my Utopia, the one Perfect World where there was no more injustice and only peace ruled. It was a dream that many people shared, but only I had the means and will to do it. I have not been wrong and I do not regret doing it. At the moment the crime rate is almost inexistent in the world. Kira has almost achieved his purpose even if for a short while… Near will not have the courage to announce my death to the world in fear of making me a martyr… Hmph, that fool will always live with the fear that Kira may one day come back again. And Kira may once day return even stronger than before… Near should thank the gods of victory that they have smiled down on him and had mercy to let him win…

**So let mercy come and wash away**

**What I've done**

**I'll face myself**

**To cross out what I've become**

**Erase myself**

**And let go of what I've done**

Mercy? Why did I not receive this mercy? However have I ever given any? I did not care of consequences, of the bodies pilling up, of anything. I have not given anyone mercy… Takada may have lived longer however I did not take pity on her; I did not care about her life even though she was devoted to me. Watari died because he was in the way… Misora died because she knew too much, Raye Penber died because it suited my purposes and L… Ryuzaki was too troublesome to remain alive, still it became boring after his death… it was too easy, no challenge at all…. no one to stand in my way, no one to defy me, no one to even suspect that I was Kira… This until Mello and Near showed up… L's shadows… in the end I didn't actually loose to Near I lost to L who continued to live trough his succesors…

**For what I've done I start again**

**And whatever pain may come**

**Today this ends **

**I'm forgiving**

**What I've done**

I got overconfident… I lost. Still if I would be given the chance to go back and change something I wouldn't take it. This has been my path and I walked on it out of my free will. Near's path led him to the means to bring me down. L's brought him to the truth, but ended before he could prove anything. Mello's was to help Near although he hated it. Everything was meant to be… to bad this had to be the outcome…

**I'll face myself**

**To cross out what I've become**

**Erase myself**

**And let go of what I've done**

**What I've done**

**Forgetting what I've done**

My heart beats slowly decrease… my name is being filled in the blank spaces of the Death Note. I feel the pain grasp my chest as I slowly fall into oblivion. My heart stops forever and Darkness takes me sending me to Mu forever… all that I've done led to this… end…

_Fin_


End file.
